I have a theory about something. Actually I have millions of theories about a squidadlion things (sheesh, that’s a new word even for me) but don’t ask me about them because well, I won’t ever stop telling you.
Take Panu for example. He asked me about one of my theories once and look what happened, he’s now chained to me and I even followed him across the hemisphere because people, if you find someone who listens to your outrageous theories, you hang onto them. Tight.
But anyway, I’m gonna share one of my theories with you. It’s about chocolate. And love. And the fact that chocolate has nothing to do with love.
People (mostly women, but let’s say “people”) have purported to love chocolate for as long as… as there were cocoa beans, I gather. I think you know how it goes, we all know a whole lotta people who gush “oh I loooove chocolate!” at the sight of a bar, a truffle, a slice of cake or anything remotely brown.
But you’re wrong people. Wrong. You don’t “love” chocolate. It’s lust.
You lust chocolate, and I say this because I mean really, you don’t want to gently, carefully wrap your chocolate up and take it home and look after it forever and ever? Or do you? *raised eyebrows*… If you do, that’s some other issue.
What you want is to eat that chocolate. You want that goddamn velvety piece of chocolate in your mouth right now, the rich, creamy, adulterously toe-curling texture of opulent chocolate melting between your lips and across your tongue.
That’s right. You do not want to cuddle it and make sure it feels better.
So, chocolate and lust. Now that we’ve confirmed that that’s the correct partnership, let’s talk about Chocolate & Love, who’ve ~ bless them ~ obviously got their name wrong.
Established by two avid chocolate lusters who believe that “good chocolate should be part of everyone’s life”, Chocolate & Love brings together top quality award-winning chocolates from around the world and delivers them straight to you, a novice chocolate luster.
Their flavours are sophisticated, enticing, delicate yet powerful and utterly grown up, as in, very much not like the speckled Easter eggs I was eating last week.
Everything about their chocolate is utterly lusty, including the names:
- The Coffee Affair ~ organic dark chocolate with coffee
- Filthy Rich ~ organic extra dark chocolate
- Nirvanabar ~ organic dark chocolate
- Crushed Diamonds ~ organic dark truffle chocolate with cocoa nibs
- Orange Mantra ~ organic dark chocolate with natural orange oil
Ok so Orange Mantra doesn’t sound so lusty but doesn’t it make you think of tantric sex? Just a little bit?
My favourite flavour has got to be Crushed Diamonds because I like a bit of texture in my chocolate but mainly because Diamonds! Cocoa nibs are the most valuable part of the cocoa bean and these babies, they are priceless. I just want it. Now.
Lustfully, sinfully, badly.
Like someone brilliantly wise once said, “Forget love. I’d rather fall in chocolate!”