No it hasn’t been six months. It can’t have been six months yet! Can it? REALLY?!
God, time is flying.
My peanut is no longer a peanut, she’s six months old today and turning into her own little person. She has a personality, she has likes and dislikes, she communicates (in her own way). She’s really turning out to be a mini me – happy, energetic, outgoing and stubborn as shit.
I’m not sure where to begin. Re-reading my three month post, I hated myself just a little bit again for having such an awesome angel of a baby. But then when I think about what I want to write here, I hate myself so much I almost want to vomit. Because Sofi is one in a million. She’s an angel. She’s a trick baby (although, I’m smarter than the trick baby and shall not be tricked!). So I’m just going to say five things about how awesome she is and then I will ShutTheFuckUp.
Ok, here goes.
- Smiles all the time.
- Hardly ever cries.
- Sleeps well.
- Eats well.
- Self entertains.
And she’s super cute. Can that be number 6?
So is she perfect? Damn near it, but nothing is perfect, and I’ve recently had to deal with one challenge – getting her onto a bottle.
Ironically, with all the pain Sam brought, bottle weaning wasn’t one of them, mainly because he woke for his first feed around 10pm, and Panu would also do this feed before he went to bed so Sam had always had a bottle ever since he was a few weeks old. He transitioned from one bottle to many bottles, and from expressed milk to formula without a glitch. It was easy!
Sofi on the other hand has never woken up for a feed early in the night – even when she was merely days old, so we never gave her the bottle. At about four months I thought perhaps I’d start giving her a bottle a day to start the transition. I didn’t think it would be hard. I didn’t realise what stubbornness I was dealing with (clearly her mother’s daughter).
I tried to give her the bottle all of December. She wouldn’t have a bar of it. Panu tried. Came Christmas time and we went on a big family holiday, my brother tried, my sister-in-law tried, my mum tried, my dad tried. WE ALL FAILED. We spent money on bottles and teats. We rocked and walked and danced like circus monkeys to distract her. I stayed in the room, I left the room, I left the house. NOTHING WORKED.
It was frustrating but we didn’t give up. And on the day my parents left, Panu took them to the airport and I was left to deal with the bottle feed on my own. Me and my stubborn baby. I reluctantly made up the bottle, sat down with her and popped the bottle in her mouth. After the initial grumble, SHE LATCHED ON. She took the bottle and guzzled to her heart’s content! WTF!
And that was it. From that day onwards, she’s been taking a bottle a day.
Just like me, she’s stubborn as heck but we come around eventually.
So life at 6 months is pretty good. Don’t get me wrong – dealing with two kids in general is still extremely tiring. On the days when I have both of them, I still stress out. I still pray that Sam doesn’t have a meltdown. I try and keep on schedule. I get really really really exhausted. And I envy. Boy do I envy. I can’t help it, it’s human nature to compare and to want what you don’t have.
On the really bad days, when I feel like I’m losing the game, losing my mind, losing at life, I envy people who have helpful parents living nearby. I envy people who have domestic help. I envy people whose husbands get home early. I envy people who get to dump the kids at the grandparents and take off for a week, a weekend, even a night. It’s pretty easy to envy when for me, it’s a luxury to even leave the house without at least one kid in tow (and when this happens it’s usually just to quickly get groceries on a weekend). The glamour that is my life.
Some days I feel really down – and look, I know my life is pretty good, but that doesn’t discount the fact that there are still days where I’m at the end of my tether, I’m snappy, I’m impatient and I cry at the smallest things like spilled milk, literally. There are more of these days lately than less, I don’t know why, things haven’t gotten any worse but I think it’s just a culmination of being tired – not just from today, or last night, or last week – but from the last 2.5 years. Just plain tired.
But I always try to remind myself of the good things – the great things. My kids are awesome. They are hands down the most beautiful things in my life. The smiles and cuddles far outweigh anything else, and as much as Sam really shits me some days, when he looks for me to give me a cuddle, it’s all I can do to keep my heart from melting into a sloppy puddle. And Sofi, well, I know I’m blessed to have her, my little angel. They’re going to grow up, I know it’s inevitable. And slap me when I say “gosh darn those baby years were great weren’t they?!”
In the mean time, I’ll stay focused on the good things. I’ll get there, we’ll all get there eventually.
Happy six months, my beautiful girl! Now let’s go get your needles (tomorrow)!