My peanut is three months old today! Can you believe it? I don’t believe it and I’m also completely amazed that I’ve now squeezed in not one but two blog posts in three months. Remember with Sam? When I could hardly muster the energy to write a post after six whole months? Yeah, that. Things are just so different with Sofi, and I’m glad that the universe noticed that I had such a very very difficult baby the first time round and blessed me with a lovely, peaceful little one this time.
Thank you, universe.
Sofi is just so chilled! I don’t know if it’s because she’s a girl. Or because she’s a second child (read: ignored frequently, especially when Sam is around). Or because I’m more relaxed and she’s feeding off that energy. But this little munchkin basically just thinks that being upset is over-rated, that struggling is a waste of energy and crying is bad for her complexion. Instead of crying, she sometimes makes this tiny little whiny noise. That’s her cry. I then feed her or put her for a little nap (very little, but more on that later) and she’s all smiles again. I can hardly believe how ridiculously happy she is.
She’s happy on her playmat, she’s happy on the couch, she’s happy on her bouncer, she’s very happy getting cuddles. She’s a social baby so as long as I’m somewhere near her, she’s happy. Sometimes when she starts whining, I rush around getting a few things done before attending to her. I quickly wash the dishes, or throw clothes on the line, or bring something upstairs. And when I get back ready to rock her to sleep, she’s fallen asleep all on her own. Sometimes like this:
BUT. But. There is one big downside to little miss Sofi. Her little naps are little. Very little. Minuscule. Sofi’s sleep cycles are all of 20 minutes which is completely ridiculous. Most babies have 45 minute sleep cycles. Sam’s were 30. I complained incessantly about that because what can you get done in 30 minutes? Not a lot. And now, I celebrate when Sofi sleeps for 30. It’s insane. She closes her eyes and opens them two seconds later and BAM! She’s done! The only consolation? After 20 minutes, she’s all smiles again and good to go for the next hour to hour and a half. And every few days she realises that because she only has shitty little naps, she’s suddenly crazy tired and pulls out a three hour nap, during which I check to see if she’s breathing about every five minutes.
While her naps are ridiculous, the up side is that her sleeping at night is amazing. Ever since she was born, she’s only woken up for one or two feeds a night. Now at three months, it’s mostly one feed around 3am to 4am, and she actually slept through (about 7.30pm to 6am) Friday night and last night!! I’m not getting too excited about this yet though because I’m sure it was an accidental byproduct of 1) few and tiny naps during the day, 2) inadvertent cluster feeding and 3) being put down at that magic ‘tired but not over tired’ window that is as rare as a unicorn. But at least I know she can do it!
I consciously thank the universe almost every day for such an angel of a baby. As I write this, I’m re-reading my 6 month post on Sam, and I can vividly remember how awful that was, how difficult he was, how I felt like I wasn’t ever going to get through it. It seemed to me that everyone else’s babies were easier than mine. So I think life is fair. I had a hard one, and now I have a cruisy one.
Really? Is it really that easy?
Ok, no not really. While Sofi is easy, having a baby in general is still really damn hard work and having two is not twice as hard, it’s about five times as hard (the math just doesn’t add up here). It’s all about coordinating schedules and managing when the schedules don’t coordinate (because: toddler). It’s about praying that when one wakes, the other doesn’t. It’s about hoping they both don’t get hungry at Exactly The Same Time. After three months, I’m now starting to get the hang of having both. It’s not easy, but it’s doable. I’ve aged, I’ve cried. Once, I left Sam to cry for 45 minutes because I just couldn’t deal with both at that moment in time.
I eat cake. I eat ice cream.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
Even during the hard moments though, I try (try being the operative word) to appreciate every moment of what I have. Recently I’ve had not one but two friends lose a baby in late pregnancy and I realise how precious these little lives are, and appreciate how blessed I am to have two beautiful babies. We’re also not going to have a third, so as Sofi grows bigger and bigger every day, I know that it’s the last time I will have a baby that tiny. It’s bitter sweet because on one hand I can’t wait until she’s a great fun age like Sam is now, but on the other, I wish she’d stay a baby forever.
In any case, three months it is. Time has flown. And this is Sofi thinking that being three months old is serious business:
Just kidding, she loves it:
ps. As I re-read this post, I realise I sound like all the mums that I absolutely hated when I was struggling with Sam. I hated them and all their perfect babies and the fact that they could have more than five minutes away from their baby without the baby losing their proverbial shit. I hated that they seemed so much in control, and that motherhood came so easily to them. Well, now I know it’s really nothing to do with mothering skills. You, we, are all good mothers. 99.9% of it comes down to the baby. But you can still hate me if you’re having a hard time at the moment, I know how it feels. Hang in there.
pps. The one time that Sofi has really screamed and cried was the evening after her first vaccination. For a baby who doesn’t cry much, that absolutely tore my heart to shreds. I’m not looking forward to her 4 month shots