*tee hee hee* I said “sex” in my post title *sniggle* and guess what? I’m gonna say it again and in the same sentence I’m gonna say Big Pickle. Just wait for it.
God I’m immature.
So last Thursday I was struck down by the dreaded ‘lurgy, a flu bug which at this time of the year must be very very lost and very far from home. Anyway, I was coughing and spluttering and feeling… for want of a better word.. BLERGH… and all I wanted to do was crawl into a deep hole and sleep for the next thousand years.
But two things came along which instantly made me feel better. And really, is there any doubt as to what those two things are?
Sex.
And a Byron Burger, of course.
Ok don’t be naughty now, my mum reads this blog. Do ya really think I’m gonna talk about sex?
Sex and the City y’all. An institution for women around the globe young and old and though they won’t admit it, I’d bet my bottom dollar that a man or two out there also enjoys the adventures and misadventures of Carrie and her girlfriends. Plus there’s Samantha and all those sex scenes.
I loved the first Sex and the City movie and though it’s taken me a little longer to get around to watching the second (and despite reading the unanimously bad reviews), I was secretly hoping it would still blow me away.
Blow me away? Not so much. But blow it did.
I’m not really sure what went wrong… it seems an infallible formula just to cast the girls in the movie but somehow it was all wrong. It was tacky. It was cringe worthy. And when Samantha swayed to the Abu Dhabi winds proclaiming something about “Lawrence of my labia” I almost puked, and it wasn’t the flu bug.
Why was it so bad? It wasn’t like they’d rushed it out. I mean if you wanna talk about rushing a franchise then dude, talk to the Twilight guys. That’s rushing and hey, they’re doing a marvellous job at it!
Anyway, the night was not all lost. Thank god for Byron’s cheeseburger (choice of cheese: Gruyère) which redeemed everything in a big way. And when you think about it, a Byron burger is much like an SATC movie, they even (sort of) have the same characters:
Beef pattie: Samantha’s got to be the meat ~ juicy, oozing and luscious…
Cheese: Miranda. I mean, if you’ve seen the movie… “Abu Dhabi doo!”
Salad: 100% Charlotte. A perfect piece of lettuce, tomato and one clean slice of onion.
The bun: Carrie of course! A burger is no burger without the bun and SATC is nothing without our Carrie.
Pickle: Mr Big brings the sex to SATC and here at Byron we have the Big Pickle!
So you see? A Byron burger ain’t all that different to one of the hottest silver screen franchises ever, and the best thing about Byron is that no matter how many sequels they seem to have (because have y’all noticed they’re multiplying like rabbits?!) they only seem to be getting better.
As for the movie, well, it was a big disappointment *sigh* but one thing hasn’t changed. Carrie is still pretty un-fricking-believable.
Hot-damn I want that dress. And those legs. And those sunnies. And gold sparkly Louboutins.
Byron Burger
The Loft, Westfield Shopping Centre
Shepard’s Bush, W12 7GF
0208 743 7755
website