The Grand Canyon. Ze Grande Canyone. You know what, if Starbucks had its way, this would be called the Venti Canyon, because yes it’s the absolute equivalent of a two litre coffee. It’s so mammoth that you don’t really believe someone’s actually drinking that, are they insane? Do they realise the number of hairs they’ll pull out from fidgeting and the carpet which will be worn thin by the constant pacing?! Clearly not. And unless you can handle your shit, don’t order it because those who can’t *coughguywhositsrightnearmecough*, coffee buzzes are so not cool to the people around you.
But anyway, vented (ah, hah, vented the venti, I am so not funny).
Now, the Grand Canyon. Without doubt the absolute highlight of my little American sojourn, and my only regret is that we weren’t able to spend more time down in the gaping big hole, contemplating life and our seriously insignifcant contribution towards this magnificent world of ours.
Law enforced by the Native Americans mandate that we (terrible folk who are destroying the natural beauty one gravel at a time) can only touch down for 30 minutes, and so we touch, we click-click-click away and we’re off. It’s that fast, but wait! This being the tour that I joined, we also had lunch inside the Grand Canyon. I mean, what’s life without food, right? High five!
There are numerous ways you can see the Grand Canyon ~ from Vegas alone there are countless tours offering bus rides (like 5 hours each way, don’t do it), sea plane rides (which fly across the top of the Canyon) and the best of the best, helicopter rides which take you in and actually land in the Grand Canyon. We chose the chopper, in case you hadn’t figured it out, and while US$269pp might sound like a doozy, it is worth every penny and really, the flight takes you over Hoover Dam and Lake Mead too, so hey what a bargain!
Check it out: Hoover Dam and some guy just plodding along on his speedboat… and see the white mark around the side of the damn? That’s the water level declining, because 6,000 people per month are moving to Vegas and milking Hoover Dam of its juices. Stop moving there you gambling bastards.
Being in the Grand Canyon is an experience that is second to none. I can’t even really put it into words properly, but the feeling is something along the lines of pure insignificance. Me being the insignificant one, of course. The area is so wide, the crevices so deep, it’s actually almost incomprehensible to understand how nature did all of this, and how long it must have taken. Being there in the amidst of the enormous mountains and rivers is humbling to say the least, and as if I didn’t feel small enough in real life, I now feel like a true and proper teeny weeny being.
More happy snaps of the Canyon, just for kicks…
and more, cos I’m generous like that…
and my very most favourite thing in the Grand Canyon? The cute little cacti that live down there…
Anyway, I totally loved this experience and would recommend for anyone to go. We flew with Papillon and I don’t know if they ever play Pick-A-Pilot, but we had this guy called John who’s ex-army and apparently psychologically tested “calm enough to be shot at” and the choppers are seriously smooth sailing and (relatively) quiet, so there is no scary fear.
And hey, they provide lunch in the Grand Canyon! We each got a little personal hamper which contained a turkey sandwich, a packet of potato chips and an apple. Oh, and a glass of champers. Can’t go wrong there 
